What lies beneath obsessive thoughts?

“I am a terrible mother.” “I think my friends secretly despise me.” “I’m chubby and unattractive.” Obsessive ideas continue to bother us from day to day after they have arisen. The worm of doubt in our abilities and traits begins to sharpen our intellect with the smallest failure. We have a better understanding of what is truly going on in our heads.

Almost never is what you think is a problem actually a problem. We tend to focus on our thoughts rather than the emotions that drive them.

We are imbued with sentiments of guilt and disappointment, phobias, and unreasonable expectations from childhood, which we ignore and dismiss. It may be far easier for you to convince yourself that you are a nasty person who requires excessive attention from others than it is to confess that you felt this way as a child because of your parents. Similarly, the intrusive thoughts that plague you could be a result of prior stress and trauma.

Here are a few examples of such thoughts you might have, along with suggestions about what event or experience may have triggered them.

• Obsessive thought: “I’m fat and ugly, I need to lose weight or get plastic surgery, otherwise no one will love me.”
  What it hides behind: “Exams are on the nose, and I’m very stressed, and I grew up in a house where for me as a girl there was only one…